my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize