Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
