you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize