All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize