man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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