yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
