I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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