it wasn't lemon gatorade
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
