just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
