she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
