Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
