is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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