you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
