Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
