put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can't turn off my feet"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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