Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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