quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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