his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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