I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
