Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
