38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
