I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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