Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish you could order shots online.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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