this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
