Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
