Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
