She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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