I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
