Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
