Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
