I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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