Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
