Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
