yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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