its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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