:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
