I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
this boner is exhausting
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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