I love black thongs
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
