dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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