would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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