I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
