Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
