imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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