Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
