Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
