so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
