HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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