meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
