Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
