i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
