East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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