Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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