Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
