did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Randomize
