I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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