I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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