I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
