He kissed a someone with a penis
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
